We’ve covered protection, intention, language.
Now let’s look at replacing old patterns with new, more conscious patterns.
You are set to level up in your life somehow. But how?
As with your home, de-cluttering or clearing out your energy and heart is a good place to start. Time to release outdated ideas, habits, and perceptions that are keeping you stuck, holding back your growth.
Things like feelings of unworthiness, attitudes surrounding success, beliefs about what you are capable of. Patterns carried forward from past years, even generations, lives.
Are you hearing the voices of those who drag you down? “We’ve always done it this way?”
The voices of those who somehow failed and are trying to “protect” you, save you from making the same mistakes? Save you from their heartbreak?
Those are energy cords to be cut. You may need to go back generations to get to the root. It is necessary and profound work. The results will resound through your ancestors and future generations.
Those are cords to cut as soon as you can. As often as you can. (Yes, there is an episode devoted to cord cutting.)
Energy cords go to you and from you. Those who take energy from you do not always have your best interests at heart. It is not your responsibility to process other people’s energies. You are responsible for your own. And yours only.
Now is the time to examine your own attitudes, processes, and actions to see what is holding you back from your best life.
What is that process?
Psychology Today has a check list. We’ll start with that.
- Define the concrete behavior you want to change or develop.
- Identify the triggers.
- Deal with the triggers.
- Develop a substitute plan.
- Change the larger pattern.
- Use prompts.
- Get supports.
- Support and reward yourself.
Let’s look at this process.
Number one: Determine what you want to change.
My thought, if you are new to breaking out of old outdated patterns, is to start with looking at the bigger issue, then identifying a component of the issue.
What “concrete behavior” do you want to change?
In my case, I want to change my sedentary lifestyle. That’s concrete, but pretty general. I define that to mean to add more activity to my day. Uh, still a bit general. I mean, just getting out of my chair is more activity, but not enough to meet my intention of the habit to change.
So I have refined my habit to change to be: Engage in physical activity that is easy to do, accommodates my physical restrictions yet pushed my limitations out.
Walking is good. I have never really liked running. Dancing is an option, too.
Next Identify the triggers.
What triggers my inertia?
I have my health issues. Not to completely go into my medical history, but the over-riding issue is that I had cancer, and have after-effects from it all. Neuropathy is the one that causes the most problems for me. My feet and legs hurt all the time. That had been a major trigger in not wanting to do stuff.
I see my neuropathy. How do I deal with the trigger?
That’s step three.
I deal with my neuropathy in a number of ways. I have tried some allopathic medicine. A lotion that completely upset me. I have tried all sorts of herbal supplements. Minerals and stuff. Energy work. Intention. I even use cannabis edibles for the nights I need to sleep.
Nothing works all the time.
There are days I have to work through it. Keeping my goal for change in mind helps me stay focused.
Your triggers are not the same. I don’t claim my triggers are better or worse than yours. They are MY triggers. I don’t expect you to process my energy. Nor do I take on your feelings about my triggers. You deal with your stuff. I’ll deal with mine.
Next, develop a substitute plan.
What can you do to replace the old pattern?
Becoming aware that there is an old pattern to replace is the first step. Now what can you do to replace that old pattern?
Would you benefit from meditating on it? Call in your guides to work with you? Do you need to slow down to see or hear exactly what you are doing or saying?
My substitute plan for increasing my activity level has been a boon in this time of working from home. My husband is my walking partner. We block out time to walk.
Just today, though, it is raining. One would think living in the Pac NW, I would be okay with functioning in the rain. Weeeellll. I don’t like umbrellas or raincoats. I also don’t like getting drenched. So, back-up plan is to take the stairs in my house. Not my favorite, but it serves a purpose.
What attitudes are you looking to replace? Do you feel you are worth the effort? Are you easily discouraged? Are you dealing with bigger issues and think a small fix won’t make a difference?
Breathe, darling. Breathe.
Take time to look for the underlying cause(s) of your thoughts. Meditate, journal, talk to a supportive professional, friend, family member.
Take the time to look. Do not judge yourself – which I can see may be part of the equation. But slow down to look deeper at the larger pattern.
See how the pieces fit together. Then, move to step four.
Which is Use prompts.
Fix in your mind through meditation or write your prompts out and post them in numerous places in your life. These remind you to look and change gear when a trigger comes up.
Make a plan
Use language that encourages you to replace the outdated thought or pattern. Like:
- Sure, it may be raining, but I am able to move about the house.
- Fresh produce feeds my body.
- I am worth the effort to change for the better.
- I am doing it!
Now: Get supports.
Find others who can support your efforts to change a habit. My husband and friends understand my position and have supported me – without judgement – through the process.
What about you?
Do you have a professional to talk to? What about a meeting? Finding a forum in self-isolation may prove challenging, but they are there. Remember, you are worth the effort it takes to find a group or person to listen and care.
If you are not able to find anyone, email me. I will listen.
Lastly, Support and reward yourself.
Yup, more self-examination.
Look at your progress. With gentleness. I didn’t walk today. Okay. I walked yesterday. I will walk tomorrow. I am not rewarding myself for taking the stairs by pounding a bag of chips, however.
I do congratulate myself for keeping my goal in mind. Uplift myself with positive reinforcement. I have a group of people I have been working with for several weeks. They will appreciate my telling them what I accomplished today.
Find people who are able to cheer you on. Unconditionally.
This is a time we are being called upon to change deeply ingrained habits and attitudes.
With love and support for everyone, we can do this.
We are worth it.
Everyone is worth their journeys to change and improve the planet.
Monday’s meditation is an amalgam of these practices.