What is Success?

I’ve been diving into guilt lately. Looking at it from as many parts of my life as I can. Woof. The depth it has reached astounds me. How far-reaching its impact has been. Even to how I feel about what I do and how well I do it.

Which leads me to looking into success. How do I define it? How was it defined as I was growing up. What is my resistance to it?

Growing up, success was being in a well-paid profession: doctor, attorney, real estate, oil, or born into a family with wealth. Big house. Rich people amentities.

Admittedly, I lived a privileged life. Private religion-based schooling. A social circle of mostly white people. I thought we were so progressive to go to an integrated private high school. POCs were still a minority in my social circle. Still, I lived in a “protected” environment.

After high school, I went to a public university. I joke that I crammed a 4-year degree into 6 years. But it did take me that long to settle on a goal. I spent a couple semesters as undecided. I caved in to my dad’s directive to have a business degree. I spent 18 months standing out in a non-business-like way. Then, I found myself, my heart, in theatre.

Graduation, then a five-year break. After the break, I went back to acting. Success at that time looked like acting award, being on Broadway, being in demand for my talent. I attended meditation classes in which I projected myself onto that timeline. It didn’t feel right even though I had professors in university who thought I could be successful. (Someone else’s definition of success.)

I wandered for a while. Had children. Tried acting again. “Indulged” myself with an intuitive tarot class.

There! Intuitive work struck a chord for me. I went full on exploring metaphysics. I found Edgar Cayce, Jane Roberts and Seth, Brian Weiss. Channeling, reincarnation, more tarot, Reiki, channeling. Wow. The Universe opened its library to me.

I read cards for friends, took more classes, found more opportunities for learning. I stepped out finally to vend at in-person events. I found more people who felt comfortable as intuitives.

I still resisted calling myself intuitive healer or “coming out of the broom closet”, if you will.

Metaphysics – psychics – can be a sketchy group. They say you are cursed. They’re in it only for the money. Psychic skills are all bogus. They lie.

THAT was the resistance for me. It wasn’t something definitive like business principles, the law, medicine. Metaphysics was woo-woo, crazy, not real, not founded in science.

But, in many ways, there is science behind it. There is so much cross over between metaphysics and psychology. Shamanism has been around for as long as humans have been around. Trauma has been allowed out from the shadows and therefore, part of the healing process. Dissociation caused by trauma have been seen as inner children and lost parts of a soul. (Give a listen to my podcast about Soul Retreival.) Reincarnation is a part of many cultures. Even physics has said that everything is energy.

Not that science has to be around to validate what I do, what so many others do. I will use that talking point, though, when I am comfortable enough to discuss it with a skeptic.

See? There’s more resistance for me: feeling like I have to justify / validate my career. Success doesn’t need justification. Does it?

It’s been about 15 – 18 years since I stepped out into the light. I have grown in my knowledge and skills. I formalized my business. Shoot, I even pay taxes on my income. Is that success?

Partly. Some people say it’s wrong for me to want to be compensated for what I do. Is that directed solely at me? No. There are people who don’t want to pay for anything. There are many free resources available. I have my podcast with loads of content available for free. That is general information that maybe hits or not.

In a personalized reading, though, yeah, I deserve compensation in some way. I am not ashamed of what I do. I enjoy the people I have met, the interactions I have. And I help others (and myself) heal to shift the energy of their lives and the planet.

Yes, that I what I would call success.